you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
