I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
