I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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