so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
