Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
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I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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