Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
