yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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