We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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