Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
