I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
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So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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