I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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