Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
