I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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