you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Come on in and take your pants off
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