When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
