What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She bit a glass in half.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize