her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
