the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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