I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
