i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize