He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
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