Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
