Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
