u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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