Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
