why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
