Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
