watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize