Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
