I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
