At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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