where am i from again
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Vodka?
Forever.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
