I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We are all done wearing pants today
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
