dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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