Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
