Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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