Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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