Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Randomize
