No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it's like heaven, but drunker
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
