I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
