I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize