I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
