That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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