I seem to have left my pride at pride
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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