pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
