Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
