You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
