Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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