Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
