So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
