Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
