Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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