I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
