So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
