He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
