There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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