Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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