There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
