No stitches, just platelets and will power
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
