her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
