Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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