listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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